By way of a formal experiment in speculative entanglement, this essay hopes to set in motion an account of nonviolence as a disposition vested in principles of relationship rather than renunciation. It also counters what the cultural anthropologist Thomas Trautmann has described as the “theory-deadness” of non-Western antiquities—a double effect, we might argue, of their disciplinary incarceration by possessive orientalist modes of expertise and policing by various insurgent cultural nationalisms.