Through self-reflexive, queer autoethnography, this article depicts the author’s transition from a religious scholastic to a queer-embracing person over four years at university. While enfolding the individual and the collective self, the author unearths new forms of existing that allow for authenticity with none of the complicity associated with double consciousness. This article examines how writing leads to meaning-making, visibility, and self-affirmation and becomes an exercise in letting go of shame, loss, and love.

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