This autoethnographic narrative uses fictional female heroine Nancy Drew and her friends to perform coauthor Jan's experience of breast cancer. Friends and colleagues Jan and Cris try out alternative characterizations of Nancy Drew as a mechanism for Jan to push back against the social construction of breast cancer victim/survivor. We use performative fiction to be creative and have fun with the experience while providing social support and deepening our relationship. In the end, Jan performs self-with-breast-cancer as an academic feminist, and Nancy Drew performs breast cancer as a fictional female detective—as a case to be solved; supported by friends; and succeeding through persistence, pluck, and luck.