In this poetry-infused autoethnography, I reflect on how the experience of my baby brother's death influenced my choice not to have children of my own. In reviewing the extant literature about women who choose to remain childless, I found my experience is not reflected, as much of what is written about the increasing number of women who are childless by choice focuses on reasons such as finances, freedom, and career. With this in mind, I offer my story and present an alternative narrative of grief impacting the choice to remain childless.

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